A Day in the Office

Just another day in the office. Today one of the inmates didn't get a "cutie pie." You know, one of those little fruit filled pies that come in a wrapper. If he didn't receive one it's because it came that way from the culinary. But he decided that the "cops" were out to get him and that we stole his cutie pie and that it was a big enough deal that if he didn't get to see the mental health doctor (so he could document this terrible wrong that had been done to him) that he would "show us" by attempting suicide. Personally, I think the world would be better off, but what are you going to do? Have to clean all that up? We ended up bringing someone in to talk to him, and the Dr. had to try to keep a straight face while hearing about the mental anguish that had been dealt to the poor inmate through cutie pie deprivation (the latest torture technique employed at the prison). Maybe we'll step it up to cake deprivation, or bologna boarding ( similar to water-boarding but using a piece of bologna and cheese.)