Introducing.....Cassie

So, in this month of Thanksgiving, which is full of food, fun, stress, cold, and leftovers, I've decided to show my gratitude to a few of my friends, family and readers, by letting them do the work for me. You see, I love to blog, I love to read blogs, and I've found that a lot of the blogs I read, read me. What's even more interesting is that most of us share common interests, common beliefs and common struggles. Throughout the rest of this year, I'll be introducing a few of my friends, family and readers to you all. You may know them, you may not, but I hope that you enjoy what they have to say to you, because it's important. At least to me.

Today I'm introducing you to Cassie. She's my sister-in-law. If you want to get technical, she's my half-sister-in-law. If you want to know how I feel, she's my sister. She's got a personality that is so warm and so fun it's impossible not to love her. She's the brains behind this - http://www.fabflowers.bigcartel.com/ and she's half of this - http://www.cassottkinghorn.blogspot.com/ (the other half being my brother, Scott). I asked her to write for me and I asked her to choose what to write about. I thought perhaps she'd write on being crafty, because she's super crafty, or maybe what it was like to be a young married couple, because they've been married for two years. She surprised me, and I'm so glad she chose the topic she did, it's personal, but something a lot of us have struggled with. Thanks Cassie! :)

Life has an interesting way of teaching its lessons. When I turned 24 I felt like I had experienced enough for an average 24 year old. I had recently gotten married to the love of my life, and was going to school for a teaching degree in Early Childhood/Special Education. I grew up in a loving home, the second oldest of six children. My parents taught us the gospel of Jesus Christ and through their example I was able to apply the standards to my own life without any regrets. I’m a Mormon and am so grateful to have the truths of Christ’s church in my life, especially during times of trial. Trials like death, for example.

Growing up I learned a little about death through friends experiences. I personally did not experience a close loved one passing away until I was 24 years old. For the first time, I felt that deep pain in my heart. My Grandpa was like a Dad to me. His passing was difficult but because of the truths of Christ’s gospel it was bearable. Little did I know at that time, the experience of that pain would prepare me for a deeper pain that I would feel in a few short months.

After my Grandpa’s passing, Scott and I found out we were pregnant. We were ecstatic. We had been married a little over a year and had really enjoyed our time together, just the two of us. We felt that we were ready for an addition to our family and I personally had always dreamed of being a mom. I was excited to put into practice things that I have learned from great examples in my life as well as things I have learned in my schooling.

I was taking classes during the first trimester of the pregnancy. It was my last semester of classes before I started my student teaching experience. I was very busy but found time to enjoy the idea of our baby growing inside of me. We had one early ultrasound at about 9 weeks and things were looking good. We realized that the due date of our baby would affect some family reunions so we decided to call and tell our parents the exciting news. We debated if we should wait the 12 weeks most people wait, just to be safe. I felt like there was nothing to worry about though since none of my family had ever experienced a miscarriage. We told our siblings once we were pass the 12 week mark and my body seemed to be doing well with everything.

On March 28, 2010 I turned 25 years old and Scott and I went in for our 12-week checkup. We had an ultrasound and the technician was being really quiet, which was out of character in comparison to our last ultrasound. She was unable to tell us what she saw because she is not a doctor but for me those quiet minutes felt like a lifetime. We were taken into another room for the doctor to tell us the news we were dreading. Our baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks.

It’s been a little over 7 months since the experience and I still get teared up just thinking about it. When I dwell on it I feel like I experience that day all over again. Walking around our small college town with so many pregnant women is so difficult for me. I go to church and am surrounded by women who are expecting. But, amid all the reminders I also have the gospel to keep me above water. I have a Savior who is able to give me the strength that I can’t muster on my own.

From this experience I have learned that we are never alone. I’ve learned that life is hard but we have every reason to smile. I’ve learned God knows what he is doing, we just need to hang on and have faith.